Change of mind...

Lately Shane and I started to discuss me going back to work full time.  Doing what I used do, office work. Fun, fun, I know. But the money is decent, you have a set schedule and Shane and I would be back on the same schedule.  The big "BUT" however is, Savannah would have to go into full time daycare.  And to be quite honest, is something we never wanted.  From the moment we started to plan to have a child, I knew that I wanted to be a stay at home mom.  In my mind, if we plan to bring children into this world, we should plan to be the ones taking care of them.  It's my personal opinion. So when Savannah was born, I decided to quit my "regular" job and stay home with her.  When she was around 6 months old, I decided to go back to working nights serving to supplement our income (and to keep my sanity) Being a SAHM is one thing, but you do need to get away every now and again.  For the most part it has worked out great, except for the fact that this particular job is extremely seasonal, so once summer hits, the money comes to end. 

So with Savannah now being 2 years old, and going through another slow summer I thought, maybe it's time for me to go back to work; regular work that is.  Savannah will have to go into daycare and we'll just deal with it, so I thought.  I updated my resume and started sending it out.  And the more I sent it out the more real it became.  The thought of working 8-4 or 5, not getting home until after that and between getting dinner on the table and everything else, I will only get to see my daughter for a couple of hours.  And those couple of hours probably wont even be any sort of quality time. I despise that entire scenario.  Savannah would be spending more time with strangers then with me and our daily life would be nothing more then constant rushing.  I understand others arguments of "well you get the weekends with her" or "at least you'll be on the same schedule with your husband" But you know what? It's just not good enough for me or for us.  Shane is on the same page of not wanting to put her in full time day care (thank god).  She is still the most important thing, she's just 2 teeny tiny years old and the best people to care for her is us.  Before you know it, she will be starting school and then it's a done deal, we have no choice.  She will be in school until she is 18 years old. 

So for now I'm going to be selfish and selfless all at the same time. Im going to do what I feel is right for myself, and our little family.

Disclaimer: I am not against daycare and

do not feel that by putting your child in daycare makes you a bad parent.